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快性,慢爱:为什么千禧一代越来越晚完婚?

宣布工夫:2018-06-13内容泉源:VOA英语学习网

The millennial generation’s breezy approach to sexual intimacy helped give rise to apps like Tinder and made phrases like “hooking up” and “friends with benefits” part of the lexicon.

千禧一代看待性密切的轻松态度滋长了Tinder这些使用的呈现,也培养了“勾结”和“炮友”之类的词汇。

But when it comes to serious lifelong relationships, new research suggests, millennials proceed with caution.

但新的研讨标明,触及到会继续终身的严峻干系时,千禧一代会慎重行事。

Helen Fisher, an anthropologist who studies romance and a consultant to the dating site Match.com, has come up with the phrase “fast sex, slow love” to desCRIbe the juxtaposition of casual sexual liaisons and long-simmering committed relationships.

研讨恋爱的人类学家、约会网站Match.com参谋海伦·费舍尔(Helen Fisher)提出了“快性,慢爱”这一说法,用来描绘随意的性干系和渐渐积聚的忠实干系的并列。

Young adults are not only marrying and having children later in life than previous generations, but taking more time to get to know each other before they tie the knot. Indeed, some spend the better part of a decade as friends or romantic partners before marrying, according to new research by eHarmony, another online dating site.

年老人不止比上一代人更晚完婚生子,还会在完婚之前花更多的工夫互相理解。现实上,依据另一个在线约会网站eHarmony的新研讨,有些人在完婚前还会花上十年的工夫以冤家或恋人的身份相处。

The eHarmony report on relationships found that American couples aged 25 to 34 knew each other for an average of six and a half years before marrying, compared with an average of five years for all other age groups.

eHarmony网站的情感陈诉发明,年事在25到34岁的美国匹俦在婚前的相识工夫均匀为六年半,相较而言,其他年事组均匀为五年。

The report was based on online interviews with 2,084 adults who were either married or in long-term relationships, and was conducted by Harris Interactive. The sample was demographically representative of the United States for age, gender and geographic region, though it was not nationally representative for other factors like income, so its findings are limited. But experts said the results accurately reflect the consistent trend toward later marriages documented by national census figures.

这份陈诉基于对2084名已婚或处在临时干系的成人的线上采访,采访由哈里斯互动公司(Harris Interactive)停止。该样本在生齿统计学上代表了美国的年事、性别和天文地区,但在支出等其他要素上不克不及代表天下,因而研讨后果仍有范围。但专家表现,后果精确地反应了契合国度生齿普查数据记载的早婚趋向。

Julianne Simson, 24, and her boyfriend, Ian Donnelly, 25, are typical. They have been dating since they were in high school and have lived together in New York City since graduating from college, but are in no rush to get married.

24岁的朱莉安·西姆森(Julianne Simson)和男友伊恩·唐纳利(Ian Donnelly)便是典范。他们从高中就开端约会,大学结业后便一同住在纽约,但并不焦急完婚。

Ms. Simson said she feels “too young” to be married. “I’m still figuring out so many things,” she said. “I’ll get married when my life is more in order.”

西姆森表现,她以为本人“还太年老”,不合适完婚。“我还在想许多事变,”她说。“我会在生存更有序的时分完婚。”

She has a long to-do list to get through before then, starting with the couple paying down student loans and gaining more financial security. She’d like to travel and explore different careers, and is considering law school.

在那之前,她另有一大堆事变要完成,起首,这对情侣要还清学费存款,取得更多的经济保证。她还想去游览,探究差别的职业,还在思索去上法学院。

“Since marriage is a partnership, I’d like to know who I am and what I’m able to offer financially and how stable I am, before I’m committed legally to someone,” Ms. Simson said. “My mom says I’m removing all the romance from the equation, but I know there’s more to marriage than just love. If it’s just love, I’m not sure it would work.”

“既然婚姻是一种同伴干系,以是在执法上向某团体做出答应之前,我想弄清本人是什么样的人,我在经济上能提供什么,我有多波动,”西姆森说。“我妈说我抹失了婚姻干系中一切的浪漫,但我晓得婚姻不只是恋爱。假如只要恋爱,我不确定它能维持下去。”

Sociologists, psychologists and other experts who study relationships say that this practical no-nonsense attitude toward marriage has become more the norm as women have piled into the work force in recent decades. During that time, the median age of marriage has risen to 29.5 for men and 27.4 for women in 2017, up from 23 for men and 20.8 for women in 1970.

社会学家和心思学家等研讨人际干系的专家表现,近几十年来,随着女性少量进入职场,看待婚姻的这种务虚、严峻的态度变得越来越广泛。在此时期,男性完婚年事的中位数已从1970年的23岁上升至29.5岁,女性从20.8岁上升至27.4岁。

Both men and women now tend to want to advance their careers before settling down. Many are carrying student debt and worry about the high cost of housing.

如今,男子和女人都偏向于在安宁上去之前先开展本人的奇迹。很多人背负着学费债权,担忧着高房价。

They often say they would like to be married before starting a family, but some express ambivalence about having children. Most important, experts say, they want a strong foundation for marriage so they can get it right — and avoid divorce.

他们常常表现,他们想先完婚,再组建家庭,但有些人对要孩子体现出抵牾心思。专家们称,最紧张的是,人们盼望拥有结实的婚姻根底,如许他们才干包管婚姻顺遂停止,防止仳离。

“People are not postponing marriage because they care about marriage less, but because they care about marriage more,” said Benjamin Karney, a professor of social psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles.

“人们推延完婚,不是由于他们更不在乎婚姻了,而是由于他们更在乎婚姻了,”加州大学洛杉矶分校(University of California, Los Angeles)的社会意理学传授本杰明·卡尼(Benjamin Karney)说。

Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins, calls these “capstone marriages.” “The capstone is the last brick you put in place to build an arch,” Dr. Cherlin said. “Marriage used to be the first step into adulthood. Now it is often the last.

约翰·霍普金斯大学(Johns Hopkins)的社会学家安德鲁·谢林(Andrew Cherlin)将这种婚姻称为“顶石婚姻”。“顶石是建拱门时安顿的最初一块砖,”谢林博士说,“过来,婚姻是进入成年的第一步。如今,它每每是最初一步。”

“For many couples, marriage is something you do when you have the whole rest of your personal life in order. Then you bring family and friends together to celebrate.”

“对许多伉俪来说,婚姻是你把团体生存的其他方面都捋顺之后才做的事。到当时,你把家人和冤家聚到一同庆贺。”

Just as childhood and adolescence are becoming more protracted in the modern era, so is courtship and the path to commitment, Dr. Fisher said.

费舍尔表现,就像古代社会的童年和芳华期变得更长一样,求爱和通向答应的路途也越来越漫长。

“With this long pre-commitment stage, you have time to learn a lot about yourself and how you deal with other partners. So that by the time you walk down the aisle, you know what you’ve got, and you think you can keep what you’ve got,” Dr. Fisher said.

“有了答应前的这个漫长阶段,你就偶然间对本身、对本人怎样处置朋友干系有更多理解。如许,到你完婚的时分,你就晓得本人有些什么,也就晓得你可以保有本人的工具,”费舍尔说。

Most singles still yearn for a serious romantic relationship, even if these relationships often have unorthodox beginnings, she said. Nearly 70 percent of singles surveyed by Match.com recently as part of its eighth annual report on singles in America said they wanted a serious relationship.

她说,大少数的独身青年仍然盼望一段仔细的爱情,哪怕这些干系每每会以不正轨的方法开端。Match.com观察的独身人士中,快要有70%的人表现盼望能有一段仔细的情感。这是Match.com第八次美国独身人士年度陈诉的一个局部。

The report, released earlier this year, is based on the responses of over 5,000 people 18 and over living in the United States and was carried out by Research Now, a market research company, in collaboration with Dr. Fisher and Justin Garcia of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. As with eHarmony’s report, its findings are limited because the sample was representative for certain characteristics, like gender, age, race and region, but not for others like income or education.

在往年早些时分公布的这份陈诉依据的是超越5000名18岁及以上在美国生存生齿的回应,观察由市场调研公司Research Now与费舍尔和印第安纳大学金赛研讨所的贾斯汀·加西亚(Justin Garcia)协作睁开。和eHarmony的陈诉一样,它们的观察后果也有范围,由于样本只能代表某些特性,如性别、年事、种族和地域,但不克不及代表其他特性,如支出和教诲水平。

Participants said serious relationships started one of three ways: with a first date; a friendship; or a “friends with benefits” relationship, meaning a friendship with sex. But millennials were slightly more likely than other generations to have a friendship or a friends with benefits relationship evolve into a romance or a committed relationship.

到场观察的人表现,仔细的密切干系会从以下三种方法之一开端:首次约会、一段情谊、或是“炮友”干系——也便是有性干系的冤家。但千禧一代比其他几代人略微更有能够会从冤家或“炮友”干系开展为爱情或忠实坚决的密切干系。

Over half of millennials who said they had had a friends with benefits relationship said it evolved into a romantic relationship, compared with 41 percent of Gen Xers and 38 percent of baby boomers. And some 40 percent of millennials said a platonic friendship had evolved into a romantic relationship, with nearly one-third of the 40 percent saying the romantic attachment grew into a serious, committed relationship.

超越对折宣称有过“炮友”干系的千禧一代都表现这段干系终极开展为爱情,相比之下,X世代有41%,婴儿潮一代有38%。有40%的千禧一代称,柏拉图式的情谊开展成了爱情干系,在这40%的人中,有快要三分之一的人表现如许的爱情情感开展为了仔细的、忠实坚决的密切干系。

Alan Kawahara, 27, and Harsha Royyuru, 26, met in the fall of 2009 when they started Syracuse University’s five-year architecture program and were thrown into the same intensive freshman design studio class that convened for four hours a day, three days a week.

27岁的艾伦·河原(Alan Kawahara)和26岁的哈莎·洛伊如(Harsha Royyuru)是在2009年的秋日看法的,事先他们方才开端各自由雪城大学(Syracuse University)为期五年的修建学课程,他们被分到统一个高强度的重生设计任务室,该课程每天需求破费四个小时,每周三天。

They were soon part of the same close circle of friends, and though Ms. Royyuru recalls having “a pretty obvious crush on Alan right away,” they started dating only in the spring of the following year.

他们很快成了统一个密切圈子的冤家,虽然洛伊如回想道,她“对艾伦立刻有了一种挺分明的留恋”,但他们到了第二年春天赋开端约会。

After graduation, when Mr. Kawahara landed a job in Boston and Ms. Royyuru found one in Kansas City, they kept the relationship going by flying back and forth between the two cities every six weeks to see each other. After two years, they were finally able to relocate to Los Angeles together.

结业后,河原在波士顿找到了任务,而洛伊如则找了个在堪萨斯城的任务,他们每六周在两个都会之间来回飞一次探望对方,以便维持这段情感。两年后,他们终于配合搬到了洛杉矶。

Ms. Royyuru said that while living apart was challenging, “it was amazing for our personal growth, and for our relationship. It helped us figure out who we are as individuals.”

洛伊如表现,不住在一同是个很大的应战,“这对我们的团体生长和我们的情感来说都十分神奇。这协助我们弄清晰了我们作为集体的身份。”

During a recent trip to London to mark their seventh anniversary together, Mr. Kawahara officially popped the question.

前不久,在两人爱情七周年岁念日的伦敦游览中,河原正式求婚了。

Now they’re planning a wedding that will draw from both Ms. Royyuru’s family’s Indian traditions and Mr. Kawahara’s Japanese-American traditions. But it will take a while, the two said.

如今,他们在谋划婚礼,它既会有洛伊如家属的印度传统,又会有河原的日裔美籍传统。但两人说,这得花些工夫。

“I’ve been telling my parents, ‘18 months minimum,’ ” Ms. Royyuru said. “They weren’t thrilled about it, but I’ve always had an independent streak.”

“我跟怙恃说,‘至多得18个月,’”洛伊如说。“他们固然不会为此而高兴,但我不断都有种独立的性情。”

来自:千亿国际文娱网页版_千亿国际文娱|www.qy449.com 文章地点: http://www.tingvoa.com/html/20180613/565300.html